How I am preparing to fly - even though I am terrified of flying

It is no secret around here that I am going to Hawaii in April. It is also absolutely no secret that I struggle with anxiety. I am trying to be proactive in my planning for my trip so I am Not miserable for the 20+ hours of flying time I am about to clock. 

In preparation for my trip these are the things I have done/ am doing.

1) Trying not to let the fear run my life already. This is harder than I thought it would be. Ever since we were 100% going to Hawaii I get sweaty hands just thinking about being trapped in a plane for that long. I get panicky thinking about the moment the wheels lift off the runway. That moment of no control. I am dreading it. And somehow I manage to bring up my fear in nearly every situation. Something I hate so much and steals my joy is always on my mind. I try my hardest to just push it out of my mind when those thoughts creep in. 

2) Figuring out the root of this fear. I know ultimately I cling to this fear because in my mind I believe I will have control of the situation if I fear it. You might get this if you have anxieties. I know, logically, flying is safer than driving. I know the stats. It doesn't help. Somewhere in my mind I firmly believe clinging onto this fear with white knuckles is going to help me control it. I can tell you right now that this makes no sense. It doesn't matter - I can't get rid of my root issue - control. 

3) Praying for Peace. When I was on my honeymoon I journaled, prayed, listened to worship music, begged God to take my fear away, but there I sat sweating, panicking, clinging onto my new husband's arm, looking for an answer he could convince me of: we we're going to be ok. And yet I so desperately needed to believe that. This time, I have enlisted the help of others. My family, dear friends, Growth Community [Small Group] are all rallying around me and approaching the throne searching for the Peace that surpasses all understanding - though in this class the peace will be more logical than the fear. 

4) Reading articles on conquering fear of flying. None of these have helped much, they just give me more scenarios of what could go wrong. The authors try to bring comfort by saying things like "Even if one engine blew up, the wings fell off, and the runway was covered in ice - The Pilot has been trained to handle that situation, do not fear!!!" HA!!! Even though those people in that ridiculous scenario I just made up all lived to tell the tale I know they all have PTSD!! I am hoping though, that if I can convince my mind to give up this control those facts will creep back into my mind. 

Engtechmag

5) Natural Remedies. My sister made me liquid Xanax out of a whooollle bunch of essential oils. Whenever I roll some of that on I get all calm, happy, and sleepy. I plan on bringing that to the airport with me and rolling it all OVA me to get it's calming effects. 

6) Memorize Bible Verses about Peace. I think I have all of these memorized, as a chronic panic attacker I often try to cling to peaceful verses, worship songs, and my favorite "God is in Control" by Miss Twila Paris, to help calm me down in times of need. Truthfully, they only sometimes work. But I am stocking my arsenal with whatever I can!

7) Medication. I can't imagine myself being calm on the plane. I don't believe anything I can do will help me. Again, this is part of my control problem I think somehow I want this fear. I am bringing actual Xanax with me. Since I was able to out will a Mexican sleeping pill on the way home from my honeymoon I still think I will be able to push past the medicine if it comes to that, but I am bringing it - and I am going to double check with my doctor about the max dosage I can take.

I never said I had figured out how to get rid of this fear. I don't know if any of these methods will work. This is what I am doing. This is what the logical part of me prays will work. 

Do you have a fear of flying? What have you done to help you get past it? 

Encouragment & Community Blog Hop

Oh, I (Kayla) am just so excited for today!!! I have wanted to host a blog hop for such a long time and I finally decided just to do it. After figuring out the direction for the Creative Jayne to take it was easy to develop a blog hop. It will be completely based on encouragement. As long as your post it based on a heart from Jesus you are free to link up!

Nighttime Routine

I love sleeping, sleeping is one of my favorite activities. However, sleep sometimes evades me. Over the course of my 26 years I have found a few things that help me drift off to sleep and stay asleep until morning.

First I put my Essential Oils Sleepy Cream on my feet. I love this stuff! It is lavender oil, peace & calming, and coconut oil.

Next - I put my EOS peppermint lip balm on. I don't know that it contributes to my sleep however comma it is my routine.

Then I use my Bath & Body Words Sleep lotion. 

Last I rub a little bit of Lavender Oil behind my ears.

Sometimes I will diffuse Lavender and Peace & Calming if I feel like it

After I put all of this on I pray with Philip, kiss him goodnight, and go to sleep.

What is your nighttime routine? What is a sure fire way to get you to sleep?

The Guys Behind The Blog

Today I am linking up with Betsy for the Guy Behind the Blog! I am so excited because I have never done one of these before. I love my husband a ridiculous amount and I love getting him involved in my blogging stuff! So without further ado...Here is my interview transcript for "The Guy Behind The Blog: Philip"

1 // Do you have a good luck charm or ritual? (like a lucky coin, or you always used to listen to a certain pump-up song when you played sports in high school or college?)

I have a purple sweater that got me all my jobs in college. 

2 // What is your favorite dish that your wife/fiance/girlfriend makes for you?  Do you have any fun memories of a time when she tried to cook and it totally flopped or does she get it right every time?

I love when she makes tacos when she fries them, sometimes the smoke alarm goes off...does that count?

3 // What did you want to be when you were growing up?

A professional football player until a family friend said "but you don't even play football" I was 12 and I hadn't even gotten started. I realized it was too late and I wasn't ever going to be able to play

4 // Which of the five senses is your strongest?

All of my senses are the strongest becuase I am a surpieror human being, just kidding what are they? Sight, Smell, Touch, Hearing....Taste?? Umm...I have 20/20 Vision and I can hear people whispering... I never don't hear my name unless you are calling my name...

5 // Would you ever run for president?

No I would not. 

The link up is open all week feel free to link up! 

Yoga Goals Update

Back in December I posted my yoga page. Since I really think that everyone can benefit from yoga I decided to list all of the benefits I have gotten from yoga as well as my goals that I have in yoga. Since then I have been working towards my goals. I have made some progress in some so I thought I'd give an update. 

Goal 1: Elbows on the ground in forward fold.

Even though technically the pose can be done however close my elbows are to the ground - this is just the point of flexibility I want to be at.

Before November 21, 2014

Update: March 21, 2015

Elbows are just a teensy bit lower, but definitely lower

Goal 2:  Crow Pose

November 21, 2014

Update March 21, 2015

Goal 3:
November 21, 2014

Update March 21, 2015

Getting closer, working on getting my left left out straight

Have you tried yoga yet? What are your yoga goals? Any favorite poses?

Hawaii Packing Inspiration

You may or may not know that I am going to Hawaii in April! woohoo! I am SOO excited! Except for the fact that I am petrified of flying - so that will be interesting. On top of going to Hawaii we have an overnight layover in Portland and so I finally get to meet the wonderful, the talented, the hilarious, the beautiful Stephanie! 

So as I am getting ready to start packing I have been scouring  Pinterest  to find inspiration on what to pack! I found that everything I have been pinning is pretty much the same color! I am looving these colors! When I get my nails done next week you can bet I will be using these colors! If you take a little looksy around my blog you will see that I love these colors in general haha...

In other news! I have started an amazing partnership with Customized Girl and I have started designing some clothes. I used one of their tank tops in a recent post Tank Tops That Will Make You Want To Do Yoga! I used inspiration from some of those tanks and some things I love (yoga, Michigan, Hebrews, Catan, the Tigers) and started designing some clothes! I am so excited about this! Please go check out my storefront and let me know what you think! 

What are your favorite colors for Spring and Summer? Have you ever been to Hawaii? Anything I need to do or see while I am there?

My Blogging Breakthrough - How I Pushed Past The Intimidation

I read a lot of blogs. I read a lot of blogs that all kinda say the same thing "I don't want to write anymore, I don't know if I am going to still do this" These come from "unsuccessful" bloggers. On the contrary, there are "successful" bloggers that give the rest of us tips and how-to's on how to be like them. Things like "comment on other blogs" or "Search Engine Optimization Blog Titles" pop up everywhere! 

After a while all the advice starts to sound the same. There is an underlying formula that I was trying to figure out and adapt to.

After a few months I hate blogging. I wanted nothing to do it. Because that wasn't why I started.

If you read some of my first posts they are just about my everyday life. Baseball games, local events etc. 

Then soon after I started I saw all these "successful" bloggers that make money blogging. I didn't even know that was a thing. Turns out it is. I wanted to do that, I wanted to be a good blogger. But I hated it.

Because everything seems so fake. 

Sponsored posts, product reviews on things that don't fit in your everyday life? I don't buy that - and I don't think you even believe it yourself. 

Comments on my blog because I commented on your blog? Genuine

Replies to my fake comments? Even Faker.

Take better pictures, have better lighting, write this Pinterest in mind. etc etc

I hated it.

Until one day I was sitting in my office, filling out a "find your blogging niche survery" and looking at all my blogging stuff and I had an epiphany. 

None of this is my story. None of this is why I started my blog. This is all fake crap.

I decided to forget about what I am supposed to be doing. What the "experts" say I should do grow my blog. I wanted to just write about things I genuinely care about.  So I did.

I felt so much freedom and, and happiness. "I'm going to write about what I want to write about! Yipee!!" 

And So I did! And I had fun! I wasn't nervous that people wouldn't like me, or my blog. If people don't like what I have to say, I am not writing for them anyway.

I wrote about some wedding tips I got when I was planning my wedding, I wrote about what felt like a failure in my marriage, I wrote about some yoga tank tops I really want. 

And ya know what happened?? I started getting a lot more views!! I started getting emails from other bloggers to work with them, I got replies from shops to work with them and try out their products!

So here are my Top Blogging Tips:

1) WRITE ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT

2) Only share what you would actually use day to day

3) Don't comment on a post if you don't want to

4) If you are having fun and you want to grow in your blogging skills - research and take the advice that works for you.

What is the best Blogging Advice you have ever gotten? Why do you read blogs?

11 Yoga Tanks That Will Make You Want To Do Yoga

It is no secret that I love yoga. It is a dream of mine to be a Holy Yoga Instructor one day. If I had the money for it - I would do it RIGHT NOW. 

But one of the best things about yoga is all the realllly cute clothes I find on Pinterest. When I have cute workout clothes it makes me want to work out more. I somehow managed to narrow all the yoga tank tops to my top 11 that make me want to get into the studio every. single. day.

1) I'm just here for the Savasana by Inner Fire Apparel Love this because Savasana is the best part of class. Espically if I just worked my Asana off. 

2) I Bend So I Don't Break by Arima Designs Yoga makes me feel amazing and flexible and I find this refreshingly simple. 

3)Keep The Wild In You by Maidservant of Encouragement Not only does this tank look amazingly comfortable - it reminds me of one of my favorite poses - Wild Thing 

4)Yoga by ShopELL obviously I love Yoga so this one is a given

5) Namast'ay In Bed also by Arima Designs I love puns. I love this tank!!

6)Yogaholic by Everfitte I can't get enough yoga so this is completely true! 

7) I Wanna Feel The Heat With Somebody by Customizedgirl.com I love hot yoga and this shirt is beyond cute

8)Hot Mess also by Everfitte Every time I leave the yoga studio I am a hot mess! My make up had run all over my face because I was sweating profusely and the tiny amount of hair that I have has come out of my pony tail and got shoved somewhere to keep it out of my face. 

9) Yoga. I'm Down, Dog.  Also by Everfitte Again with the puns!

10) Namaste by Everfitte I looove the colors!! I love the layout. 

11) How's my Downdog by Howsmydowndog Because in Downdog this is right side up. I LOVE IT

Do you have any favorite yoga tank tops? Do cute workout clothes inspire you to work out?

Confessions of a Forgetful Wife

Monday, we can't keep meeting like this. It's getting real old. I wanted to talk to you today about how I can just be the worst wife. I really can be. I love my husband - I am just so flawed.

Sometimes I am just forgetful - I forget my husband. Not like "forgot I was married" Or "forgot you were sitting there" I just focus so much on myself that I forget about his needs. I can forget about his wants, the things he cares about, his opinion.

This can be in large areas and small areas. Let me give you some examples. 

When I get myself a piece of gum I open the pack, get a piece, put the pack back. Philip looks at me and says " No thank you, I didn't want any"

Or even last night I was pouring myself a glass of...milk...and I grabbed one milk glass from the cupboard. Philip said "yes I would love some!' I tried to shake it off like "yeah I was just getting one glass down at a time" But he saw right through it.

Or Bigger Things - right now I am trying to figure out my stance on Vaccines. I want to figure all of this stuff out so I will be informed - but I forgot (for a moment) about what Philip's thoughts might be. Thankfully Philip is really awesome and forgiving and we are working through this together. 

Like I said, Philip is really cool and forgiving and cute. So he doesn't hold these things over my head. But they really bother me. I say that I love Philip and that he is the best man in the whole world, ever, yet my actions speak otherwise.  

Sure, maybe I am blowing this way out of proportion. But maybe I am not. I mean I get gum all the time. That is a lot of time I am forgetting about him. 

This reminds me of my Bible teacher senior year. He used to always say "I may not be much but I am all I think about" 

I hate this is true.

This is how I plan to fix this.

1) Pray - ask God to help me always put Philip ahead of myself, despite of the love of myself.

2) Think before I act - ask myself if Philip would be interested in this topic/gum 

Are you forgetful? Do you have a hard time putting others before yourself? Why is this so hard???

Top 5 Wedding Planning Tips

Friday, we meet again. Lately I have been really into looking at my wedding pictures. Probably because I got my bathing altered by the lady who saved my wedding dress today...who knows. It got me thinking about planning our wedding. I had so many amazing people around helping with whatever we needed. These are the Top 5 Things I was so glad people encouraged me to do and that I actually listened to! 

1) It is about you and your fiancé. 
It is NOT about mom, dad, brother, sister, grandma, grandpa, friends, cousins, etc. In everything you do for the wedding be sure it is telling your love story. Yes, of course these people are a huge part of your life. You want them there and to help prepare for the big day, but do not let that get in the way of telling your story. 

2) Don't be afraid to say "no" 

People are going to offer opinions, whether you ask for it or not. You do not have to listen to them. People will want to wear certain things (Bridal Party), or not wear certain things. But ultimately it is your choice so don't be afraid to tell them no. *IMPORTANT: Be respectful!!!

3) Remember that it is just ONE DAY! 

Something probably will go wrong. The cake might fall on the way there, your cousin might get sick and cannot stand up the morning of...GOOD NEWS that does not render your marriage license null and void! At the end of the day you are MARRIED to your best friend. One Day is so small in the grand scheme of things.

4) Stay on budget! 

If you're like me your budget will double. The best way, I found, to keep costs low is to keep the guest list small. I know it is hard - but you can do it! This day is about your love story - not about if your Mom's friend's sister gets to come. Or even your dad's business partner. If you don't know them and they haven't played a part in your life they don't NEED to come.

5) Don't Stress. 

Easier said than done, I know. But here is a practical way to do that: Forget tradition. You don't have to be traditional at all. You can dance up and down the aisle. You don't even have to have an aisle. You can wear pants, or polka dots! It's ok. The day is to tell your love story!

What do you wish someone would have told you when you were planning your wedding?

Getting to Know me!

A few people (Lora & Christine) had this Get To Know Me on their blogs recently. It reminded me of MySpace surveys. I used to LOVE MySpace surveys. So just for old time's sake...

1. Favorite pet I ever had

Maybe my old dog, Sally. She was really cool. I sang a Gloria Estaphan song to her the day before we put her down. Very moving. 

2. Favorite food I’ve cooked

Ice Cream with Saunder's hot fudge and chocolate chips. 

3. Teacher who changed my life, and why

The teacher who taught the class I met Philip in. because I met Philip in that class. Thanks, Jacob

4. The best paid entertainment I’ve ever seen

CARRIE UNDERWOOD NO CONTEST

Them legs, though. 

5. Favorite hobby activity that makes me get lost for hours

Pinterest 

6. My greatest skill (past or current)

Backing up in a straight line. But only on a really good, clear day. 

7. The best advice I’ve ever been given

"Don't worry about liking him, just be his friend, and if something happens - great. If not you've got a really good friend out of it" - My Dad. Re: Philip

8. My favorite flower – purchased

lillies. or something pretty. 

9. My favorite flower or plant – personally grown

Poison Ivy. 

10. The most favorite gift I’ve ever gotten – what and from whom?

this is so hard. I am a gifts person. Any thought that goes into a gift makes me want to cry. The gift of life - from my mother. 

11. My most suspenseful moment

Any and every time I am on an airplane. 

12. My most unexpected achievement?

yoga. I am not good at being athletic or strong. or anything. but I have been making some nice progress in that area. 

13. My favorite paid employment, ever

meh.

14. The favorite dessert I’ve ever eaten

Frozen Yogurt with all the fixin's

15. The most scared I’ve been by a bug or critter

When there was freaking snake in my basement!!!!

16. My favorite household chore

I like the very last one I have to do that day, but only when it is over. 

17. Favorite item no one knows I own?

why would I keep this a secret?

18. The prettiest shiny object I’ve ever owned

My engagement ring. it's perfection. 

19. Favorite outdoor smell

bonfires.

20. Favorite song I ever danced to and with whom?

My wedding song Best Friend- Jason Reeves. 

I can never remember the name of this song. I just had to ask Philip. I am the worst. 

21. The favorite place I have ever traveled to where I’d spend my whole life if I could?

Charleston, South Carolina without hesitation. 

22. The most significant change I’ve had to go through and how it made me better

Losing my dad 2 weeks after getting engaged. I'm not sure it made me better. 

23. Favorite environmental sound (rain, thunder, etc.)

Rain.

24. Best time I’ve had playing with a pet

I'm not a giant animal person. 

25. The favorite picture I’ve ever taken?

i don't have one!
What are some of your favorites? Answer a few.