How I am preparing to fly - even though I am terrified of flying

It is no secret around here that I am going to Hawaii in April. It is also absolutely no secret that I struggle with anxiety. I am trying to be proactive in my planning for my trip so I am Not miserable for the 20+ hours of flying time I am about to clock. 

In preparation for my trip these are the things I have done/ am doing.

1) Trying not to let the fear run my life already. This is harder than I thought it would be. Ever since we were 100% going to Hawaii I get sweaty hands just thinking about being trapped in a plane for that long. I get panicky thinking about the moment the wheels lift off the runway. That moment of no control. I am dreading it. And somehow I manage to bring up my fear in nearly every situation. Something I hate so much and steals my joy is always on my mind. I try my hardest to just push it out of my mind when those thoughts creep in. 

2) Figuring out the root of this fear. I know ultimately I cling to this fear because in my mind I believe I will have control of the situation if I fear it. You might get this if you have anxieties. I know, logically, flying is safer than driving. I know the stats. It doesn't help. Somewhere in my mind I firmly believe clinging onto this fear with white knuckles is going to help me control it. I can tell you right now that this makes no sense. It doesn't matter - I can't get rid of my root issue - control. 

3) Praying for Peace. When I was on my honeymoon I journaled, prayed, listened to worship music, begged God to take my fear away, but there I sat sweating, panicking, clinging onto my new husband's arm, looking for an answer he could convince me of: we we're going to be ok. And yet I so desperately needed to believe that. This time, I have enlisted the help of others. My family, dear friends, Growth Community [Small Group] are all rallying around me and approaching the throne searching for the Peace that surpasses all understanding - though in this class the peace will be more logical than the fear. 

4) Reading articles on conquering fear of flying. None of these have helped much, they just give me more scenarios of what could go wrong. The authors try to bring comfort by saying things like "Even if one engine blew up, the wings fell off, and the runway was covered in ice - The Pilot has been trained to handle that situation, do not fear!!!" HA!!! Even though those people in that ridiculous scenario I just made up all lived to tell the tale I know they all have PTSD!! I am hoping though, that if I can convince my mind to give up this control those facts will creep back into my mind. 

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5) Natural Remedies. My sister made me liquid Xanax out of a whooollle bunch of essential oils. Whenever I roll some of that on I get all calm, happy, and sleepy. I plan on bringing that to the airport with me and rolling it all OVA me to get it's calming effects. 

6) Memorize Bible Verses about Peace. I think I have all of these memorized, as a chronic panic attacker I often try to cling to peaceful verses, worship songs, and my favorite "God is in Control" by Miss Twila Paris, to help calm me down in times of need. Truthfully, they only sometimes work. But I am stocking my arsenal with whatever I can!

7) Medication. I can't imagine myself being calm on the plane. I don't believe anything I can do will help me. Again, this is part of my control problem I think somehow I want this fear. I am bringing actual Xanax with me. Since I was able to out will a Mexican sleeping pill on the way home from my honeymoon I still think I will be able to push past the medicine if it comes to that, but I am bringing it - and I am going to double check with my doctor about the max dosage I can take.

I never said I had figured out how to get rid of this fear. I don't know if any of these methods will work. This is what I am doing. This is what the logical part of me prays will work. 

Do you have a fear of flying? What have you done to help you get past it?