Monday, we can't keep meeting like this. It's getting real old. I wanted to talk to you today about how I can just be the worst wife. I really can be. I love my husband - I am just so flawed.
Sometimes I am just forgetful - I forget my husband. Not like "forgot I was married" Or "forgot you were sitting there" I just focus so much on myself that I forget about his needs. I can forget about his wants, the things he cares about, his opinion.
This can be in large areas and small areas. Let me give you some examples.
When I get myself a piece of gum I open the pack, get a piece, put the pack back. Philip looks at me and says " No thank you, I didn't want any"
Or even last night I was pouring myself a glass of...milk...and I grabbed one milk glass from the cupboard. Philip said "yes I would love some!' I tried to shake it off like "yeah I was just getting one glass down at a time" But he saw right through it.
Or Bigger Things - right now I am trying to figure out my stance on Vaccines. I want to figure all of this stuff out so I will be informed - but I forgot (for a moment) about what Philip's thoughts might be. Thankfully Philip is really awesome and forgiving and we are working through this together.
Like I said, Philip is really cool and forgiving and cute. So he doesn't hold these things over my head. But they really bother me. I say that I love Philip and that he is the best man in the whole world, ever, yet my actions speak otherwise.
Sure, maybe I am blowing this way out of proportion. But maybe I am not. I mean I get gum all the time. That is a lot of time I am forgetting about him.
This reminds me of my Bible teacher senior year. He used to always say "I may not be much but I am all I think about"
I hate this is true.
This is how I plan to fix this.
1) Pray - ask God to help me always put Philip ahead of myself, despite of the love of myself.
2) Think before I act - ask myself if Philip would be interested in this topic/gum
Are you forgetful? Do you have a hard time putting others before yourself? Why is this so hard???