Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Your Husband Can't Read Your Mind

I have only been married a year and 7 months. But in this short amount of time I 
have learned so much. So much about myself, my husband, marriage, life, liberty, 
and the pursuit of happiness. Maybe not quite that far. But the biggest thing I have 
learned in this time is, simply put: Men can’t read minds. Whoa. Mind=blown. This 
message just got driven home this past weekend.

See, I have been extremely busy lately and my husband has been going above and 
beyond helping pick up the slack I have been leaving behind me. But somehow on 
Sunday afternoon all that got washed down the drain. I got home from church 
before he did and I started cleaning the house for small group. I started noticing the 
recycling wasn’t in the bin, the house hadn’t been swept, the bed wasn’t made. Etc, 
etc. So, obviously, I got really annoyed that he hadn’t done these things. 

Let me answer what you may be asking; No – I had never asked him to do those 
things. And Yes – I was getting mad at him for not doing them.

In retrospect this doesn’t make any sense. I had never asked him to do those things, 
I know it isn’t his personality to do those things, but I was still mad.
I’ll skip to the end where I ended up crying because I felt so bad that I was just the 
worst wife ever. [I am really sounding overly emotional here – this is not my 
proudest moment]

Philip forgave me because he is amazing and he loves me. But I really learned a 
lesson. Philip can’t read my mind. He can’t see my thoughts and know what I expect 
from him if I don’t tell him. 

God has been working on my heart lately, teaching me how to be a more patient 
person. Sunday when I was in the midst of my hissy fit over nothing I could hear him 
saying “aren’t you glad you have a husband to help you? Aren’t you grateful that He 
takes care of you everyday? He works hard to provide for you, doesn’t he? He may 
forget to do things, or not clean everything you know, but he is still there.” 


So this is my point: Let’s be grateful for the men we have.  Let’s not hold them to a 
standard they know nothing about. Let’s love them for who they are, the way they 
are; because they love us that way. Even though we are emotional and irrational, 
and we do stupid things sometimes. They give the most comforting hugs, the most 
sincere compliments, and they are truly gifts from God.

Am I the only one who is guilty of this? 


  1. Thanks for the reminder! I am so grateful for my relationship.

  2. I love this 'let's not hold them to a standard they know nothing about'! Boom! That is so true! Thanks for sharing this truth and being so vulnerable while teaching us all a valuable lesson!

  3. Hear, hear! I struggled with the same thing in our first year of marriage (heck, I still do!) but I've since realized that he does so much for me and that a lot of times, I don't have to ask for help and it doesn't help to dwell on the few times he doesn't!

  4. l. o. v. e. this. i think its applicable to more than just husbands - friends, too. we think because people know us, they can read our minds…. also not true.

  5. You and me both haha, I always assume my boyfriend can tell when I would like him to do something and then get offended when he does not. Here's to more patience with the men we love and love to hate (; Thank you for sharing and God bless

  6. Haha. Man. This is too funny cause I had one of these moments recently too. Thanks for being real and encouraging the rest of us! :)

  7. I've been with my husband 22 years... I'm pretty sure he can read my mind just by the expression on my face :) haha

  8. you are welcome, so easy to forget sometimes! Even though they are so great!

  9. thanks! It was a hard one for me to learn but I think it can be so easy to just expect people to do things we didn't tell them about. Not everyone can be in our heads! :)

  10. I think it (hopefully) is something that will get better as time goes on. I will learn to communicate all the things I am hoping he will do. I need to be better about focusing on the 100 things he did do and not the 1 thing he didn't do!

  11. oh for sure! I think we expect people to know what they "should" be doing. but in reality we're all so different that its ridiculous to think that people are going to know what we need or what them to do unless we say it!

  12. Amen and Amen! I need more patience and I need to open up my mouth and say the things in my head! thank you for stopping by Ann-Marie!

  13. I think we're all guilty unfortunately. Thanks for stopping by, Sharon! :)

  14. haha that's the DREAM! one day we will get there

  15. amen, sister. this is so good. love your vulnerability in this post.


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