If I weren't here, well I'm pretty sure they'd be dead by now.
The Dangers they face on a daily basis without so much as a glance - well it baffles me.
In my 15 months of life I've never met such stupid people. Stupid by way of unpreparedness and safety.
Do you know what I've protected them from today alone?
1 stray dog.
The vacuum beast.
And it's not even 2:30!!!
All my efforts are met with opposition. "Uh uh leave it!" "Calm down" " stop barking!" Idiots! Do they know what would happen if I let these things go free?? No. And I've tried telling them but they look at me like they don't understand. Ignorance is bliss I gues. Go on- keep putting your heads in the sand. You can't handle the truth!!!
The truth is - and don't tell them I said this - I'm not really sure what would happen if these things went unwarned. But I know enough about disease, territory takeovers, electric fires, blender accidents, and squirrels to know that it wouldn't be good. It would be bad and it has the potential to get ugly right quick.
They can try and tame me, domestic me, and otherwise strip me of my God-given duty of protecting this fortress. But I'll tell you what - when that spawn gets here - they won't be able to thank me enough!!!