Monday, May 18, 2015

Meet Kona Coffee Piasecki!

Hi Everyone my name is Kona Coffee Piasecki! I am new here on this blog, and really new at being a Piasecki. My mom says I can take over her blog every once in a while. She said she can't believe she is one of "those people" already. 

So here is the story all about how I became Kona Coffee Piasecki.

I was born ruffly (pun, intended) 7 months ago, mom is still waiting on my vet paperwork from my first mom to know my exact birthday. Side note, I am grateful for my first mom and everything but we don't really talk about her much because Mom wants me to know that I am home now. So I was born in the fall and got taken to my new home. I was named Fern, and since I still don't answer to that I clearly was not a fan. I was given a few weird toys, a leash, and a harness. The details are foggy though. They say I was potty trained but I forget if I really was because pooping on mom's stuff is so much fun! Anyways my first mom worked too much and I was in my crate all. the. time. so she gave me back.

Then, as fate would have it, my Grandma Laurie was at work and a co-worker said she had a dog that was free! Grandma Laurie knew mom and dad wanted a little dog so she called them right away! Mom and dad only talked about it for 30 seconds before they realized they wanted me! Grandma Laurie took me home with her from work...and make me a little I puked on her! Sorry, Grandma Laurie!
When I got to her house my mom and dad came over! They started calling me Kona and I instantly knew that was the name for me! I liked them right away and sat right down in mom's lap. My Aunt Torii is a giant Golden Retriever, we got along just fine except, bitch kept eating my kibble! (Don't worry I can say that word because I am one, and it isn't offensive) 

Mom and Dad scooped me up and took me home! I didn't get nervous and puke or anything! Mom and Dad were instantly smitten! Dad went to band practice and I explored every inch of my new house. I didn't have any accidents. For my first night as a Piasecki; I slept in mom and dad's bed. Slept is used very loosely because I was just so excited I couldn't sleep! I kept kissing (editor's note: licking) them ALL NIGHT LONG! I was just so grateful to have two loving parents! 

Then mom woke up and got ready for work. Her blow dryer is kinda horrifying so I steered clear of that machine because I am pretty sure it could blow me all the way to Oz!!
They left me at home when they went to go get bacon, or something, I did fineon my own. Took a nap, drank some water. When they came home from lunch we feasted as a family! Let's fast forward to 5:00 when mom came home, shall we?
Mom wanted to buy me some new stuff! On the way to Petsmart I did great! When we parked outside I just got so excited I puked on mom a little. Luckily she forgave me. At the store we had dad wrapped around our little paw! We got a new harness, it is So. cute! A new collar (which by the way feels like a death trap - more on that later) a new shirt (we fought hard for that one), a bed, some treats, more food - it's more size appropriate for me - and a leash so I can roam the back yard! Well on the way home mom could tell the excitement was a little overwhelming. I was heaving and she threw my face in an empty coffee cup! I puked some nastiness in there! Then I puked a huge pile...pretty sure it was bigger than my whole body...right on the car seat and mom's leg! She really took it like a champ, though! Dad and I thought she would toss her kibble, but she did great! She is taking to motherhood quite well! 
That night I met my new friend Camo! He came over and got a liittle too friendly. Dad said he tried to take my innocence. He learned his lesson quick and we are basically BFFs now! Well mom and dad put that death trap of a collar on me, it was kinda cute..but.. I hated it! When we went outside I basically tried to break my own neck. So when we came inside and they still didn't take it off - I pooped on Mom's floor! Then I pooped in the kitchen! Then I peed on both of her rugs! Then they got the memo and took that thing off! 

Oh, and then I got super pumped about life and wanted to take a selfie with Camo, I grabbed Mom's camera and it flew off the coffee table. Dad wasn't happy - he says I am too young to use it and too lacking in opposable thumbs to ever operate it. 

Camo, me and our humans settled Catan and then watched some baseball. It was pretty fun and a great first date for me and Camo. Mom says it's the Duggar way to always have chaperones. 

Last night they stuck me in my crate on the other side of the room from them and I cried and cried. Dad moved me over to the side of the bed and assured me they weren't leaving me. After that I slept like a champ!! 
I am doing really well now - I did poop on the couch this morning but we are looking past that! 

Thanks for reading my first blog post! I am still learning my voice as a writer, and as a dog. Someone suggested I have a hispanic accent because I am part chihuahua...I said that's racist! I am American!! Anyways it's a process and I am glad you're here! I'm going to go chew on my chew stick now! xoxo


  1. This is just fantastic... I chuckled in all of it.
    That is racist. Though I do have sounds of "No Quero Taco Bell" going through my head. Remember that commercial?
    Yep... let's always just move past pooping on the couch. Don't bring those memories up Kona :)
    I love you have a signature sign off already too :)

  2. Such a sweet pup!! Congratulations!! It's the best parenting practice ever! 😊

  3. haha thank you! Kona is quite clever ;)

  4. thank you!! it really is, it made me realize I am not ready for motherhood hhaha

  5. haha thank you! she says the pleasure is all hers!

  6. This was hilarious and she is absolutely precious! Congrats on your new family member!

  7. Oh my gosh! You are hilarious! Love this post!! It made me laugh out loud! ;)

  8. Oh Kona! Aren't you just the cutest! I am so glad you have a new family now who loves you so much. I just know you will fit right in! My dog, Pip gets car sick too. He knows the feeling.

  9. I basically peed my pants while reading this.


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