Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Baby Girl P - Update

First - a little catch up - I told you Monday that we found out we are having ONE baby GIRL! I only wanted to have one ultrasound originally. Well, to date, we have had 3. The first one was to determine how many babies were in there. The second was our standard "viability" ultrasound. 

At our ultrasound our tech asked if I had any caffeine that day. I had, but it made me curious why she had asked. I was on a bit of high alert since just weeks before Tommy died. Well I started to notice her heartbeat was slowing down a bit then it would pick back up. I got really anxious and after a while the tech asked another tech to come in and give me a second opinion. They both agreed that it was normal. If they had seen something in the ultrasound I wouldn't be able to leave that day without talking to a doctor. 

Well 2 or so weeks later we had our monthly midwife appointment. At the appointment the midwife told us our baby had a fetal cardiac arrhythmia and laid out a plan. The plan was for me to come in every week for 2 weeks have have her heart listened to for 1 minute and they had a fetal echocardiogram scheduled in 2 weeks. If her heart rate spiked during the check ups I would have to go immediately to the hospital for further testing.  That day at the office she passed her heart test. 

The next week we had a heart rate test and she passed with flying colors. I was feeling so confident and I wasn't worried about anything. The next week I almost told Philip not to come because I was sure everything was perfect. About 30 seconds into the test the midwife (whom I had never seen before) said "I am going to send you to the hospital" My heart dropped into my stomach and I started panicking. She said her heart rate had dipped twice in 1 minute. Once to 88 and once to 105. 

She said based on what she heard they would send me directly to triage and I would probably be admitted. After she walked out of the room to call the hospital the tears came. Philip grabbed my hand and prayed with me. After the midwife came back in she told me that the high risk doctor at the hospital didn't think I needed to go in right then, since I already had my echocardiogram scheduled for the next day. She told me I needed to remain calm. Right. An already anxiety stricken, family trauma, and first time mom - that's the makings of a cool/ calm/ collected woman. 

All night I went back and forth between calm, panic, confidence, and worst case scenarios. The next morning at 8:40 AM we had our echo. After 2.5 hours, countless questions, and "are you sure's?" our tech told me she didn't see anything wrong with her heart! She hadn't seen the arrhythmia the entire 2.5 hours she was looking directly at heart rate. I asked her if I could still see the doctor - who would ultimately sign off on the report and I would get the result a few weeks later - before we left so I could rest assured.

The doctor came in and looked at all of the scans. He asked to see a view of something a little longer than one of the scans and then he said "I have no concerns" and I said "but would you tell me if you did??"and he said "no I would just keep it to myself and hope for the best" - point taken! haha

I asked what he thought had happened the day before, why had her heart rate dipped?? Twice? And so drastically? He said "I think your baby moved away from the doppler and it sounded like it dipped"

WHHAATTT?? So, essentially, user error?? My midwife didn't know how to use the doppler and I had 20 hours of panic?? The ultrasound tech even said her heart was so picture perfect she wishes every baby she saw was that healthy!

My monthly check up is today at 2:40 - part of me is slightly worried the doctor will have something else in his report that will scare me. But overall - I am so far unimpressed with the midwives we are using. We decided to use midwives to avoid all of this over testing and unnecessary worry. I am looking into a doula, and maybe looking to move to another care taker. But for now I am rejoicing in the good news from the doctor, enjoying her ever-strengthening kicks, and marveling at her perfect face. God is good and I love this little girl with my whole heart. 

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