Update on Kona's Life!

Hey Ya'll! Sorry it's been for, like, ever since I last posted! HAPPY CINCO DE JULY!!!! (Editor's note: she means 4th of July, we just started learning Holiday's in our homeschool lessons and she's getting them confused)

To say life has been busy would be a gross understatement! I've been trying to adjust to life being a Piasecki - Letz be real you guyz, it's had it's ups and downs!

Mom thought I preferred Dad over her. I am going to be completely honest with you, I did. Every time I peed or pooped in the comfort of my own home she would shove my face in it! Don't want me to hate you woman? Don't put my face in my excrement! Anyway, we're moving past that.

I also met my cousins Diego and Hero. Diego is a hoot, we got along seriously great. Hero is not a huge fan of me so that didn't go that well. Still a highlight worth mentioning though. My human cousin Tommy let me lick him - even inside his mouth. So we're pretty much best cousins fa lyfe.

Oh, wait, I have a story - first - have you ever heard of a dishwasher?? Yeah, I hadn't either. Apparently you're supposed to put your dog bowl in it as a sacrifice. My first few weeks here I didn't know that so I never offered it anything and it tried to kill me! I am not even being dramatic. 

Ya know how when you get something really, really good to eat and you bury it somewhere in the house so you can come back and enjoy it later? Ok, well I do this all.the.time. my parents think it's the cutest. I say "this is just practical and a lot of work! Hello, I don't have opposable thumbs and I am making something disappear! It's basically magic - stop recording me!"

One time I actually made something disappear! I put a chew stick behind a pillow in the guest room and it literally vanished (editor's note: I moved it) I check that spot every day but it's gone. I have some sort of magical powers!

 Remember in my last post when I said I got really car sick? Well I am 14/15 on my last 15 car rides! As long as I look out the window and my mom has me in a death grip I am fine! I just like the security of knowing why something is happening. Sometimes I perch myself on my mom's shoulder so I can see everything. What I don't like is when I can see people outside playing and I can't get to them! I cry and paw at the window. I try not to do this because Mom Always sings to me!

"I wanna be where the people are

I wanna see, wanna see them dancing

Up where they walk, up where they run

Up where they stay all day in the sun

Wandering free

Wish I could be, part of that world"

Except she only knows a few words here and there and we really should leave the singing up the one person in this house who gets paid to sing! 

I've learned a few tricks! Like pooping as close to my parents as possible and trying to not get caught. I am really good at this game! I think mom likes it because she calls me Poodini but  Dad HATES it. I haven't played it in a week though! I also can sit, dance, and praise Jesus! Mom tries to get me to pray a prayer with her so she will see me in Heaven. But I keep telling her I am not ready. I need to make this step on my own. Then she cries. Women. Ammiright? 

 Yesterday I went to Grandma and Grandpa Piasecki's house. Went out on a boat, hung out with some bitches, (editor's note: we're trying to break her of this habit but she's adopted and we don't want her to think we are trying to change her. And it is accurate - they were only female dogs at the beach) got in a fight, tried swimming, and discovered how to dig in the dirt,  and played rock soccer!

My Aunt Torii was jumping off the dock and everyone was acting like it was such a huge deal. Here's the best action shot they could get of her.

 Ready for mine?

 LOOK AT MY HOPS!

I have successfully chewed though 2 harnesses so my parents got me a straight jacket. Whatever I am Poodini just give me a few weeks and I'll bust outta that thing too!

Alright I got to go - It's the THIRD OF SEPTEMBER and I have some exploring to do! It's supposed to be hot today so Mom and Dad are getting me a Starbucks! I loove Frappechinos - LOL I am such a basic female dog! Alright, Happy Christmas!